We all need intimate relationships. It’s not just a matter of finding sexual intimacy, but we all want there to be one person in front of whom we let down our guard.
Finding such a relationship is no mean feat. There are only so many people with whom your chemistry matches to the point you let them into the intimate corners of your life.
Unfortunately, some people might then sabotage their relationships, themselves. This attitude may not seem natural, and it isn’t. There are various reasons why people end up jeopardizing a very good relationship, including:
Trauma
Those with history of abuse and trauma, especially when it occurs during childhood, are more likely to pull the plug on their relationship. Depending on the extent of the abuse, some might even need help from a Psychiatrist in Lahore to get better.
Essentially, in their mind, there are negative connotations associated with such deep relationships. Rather than suffering again, they end up breaking it off. They also have attachment issues, due to their past, which can make sustaining relationships hard.
Commitment issues
For certain people, committing wholly and solely to one person can cause a lot of fear. The panic that comes with the thoughts that they are letting another person in their life can then lead to them sabotaging their relationship.
Fear
People might also sabotage their relationship because they have a fear of abandonment. So, instead of their partner leaving them, they themselves end up breaking it off.
Self-esteem issues
People who suffer from low self-esteem are more likely to sabotage their relationship. Since they don’t think they are worthy of the relationship, they then push their partner away to avoid the imminent rejection.
Moreover, low self-worth can also make people feel inadequate. They then start concocting all sorts of visuals whereby their partner is not sincere with them, and why would they be since they are not worthy of anything, and thus, they sabotage the relationship.
Signs that you might be sabotaging your relationship
Apart from knowing some of the reasons for having the issue, it also helps to know the signs of when and if you are sabotaging your relationship.
Criticizing your partner
No one likes to be criticized, especially when it is uncalled for, and the tone is not right. If you are being critical of them over small matters, that leave you both feeling sour, then perhaps you are deliberately trying to sabotage the relationship.
Possessiveness
It is one thing to feel protective of your partner, but entirely another to become so possessive that it becomes stifling for them. This level of possessive behavior can then make you paranoid as well, as you then start to feel as if your partner is cheating you when they talk to another person, or even when they don’t.
Not addressing the issues
If you love your house, and there are some renovations that need to be done, won’t you do them? Even if they take energy out of you, you still want to make sure your house is perfect. But if it’s a temporary abode, you might not bother.
Now, think about your relationship; if you are not addressing what’s wrong therein, is it then not you thinking that the relationship will not last? Does this not show that you are not vested enough to save the relationship?
Unhealthy and destructive behavior
Another sign of sabotaging the relationship is when you are indulging in unhealthy behavior. Your drinking, shouting, watching filth, being rude and ignorant of your partner will naturally cause them to break it off.
Self-deprecation
If you constantly self-deprecate yourself in attempts to show your partner how they can do better, you may be onto something. Your low self-esteem may be genuine, in which case you should contact a mental health expert at Shaafi International Hospital, but it will end up jeopardizing your relationship.
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